this is never going to not be funny
Rob Lowe says “that is fucking hilarious” with the straightest face ever
Bless you, Chris Pratt
This is the hardest I’ve laughed in so long
♫♫That’s not something that props can fix…that’s gonna be a little harder to fix.♫♫
It’s bACK.
I’ve seen this a thousand times and I just realized he knocks the fucking Mac of of the counter too
I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom
My dick has been on fire for over an hour
I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”
He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.
She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.
So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.
She fucking CUMS
And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me
“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”
And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.
ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF
its serialized. he’s a modern day dickens
STREET TACOS
Dating Site for Trump Supporters doesn’t allow gays or lesbians but allows adultery
This bitch, please.
What was this about???? Lmao
She tried to do a “I’m not racist, i have black friends!” but it failed miserable
Oh my god
Is asap rocky literally saying “we’re not friends like that”
I’m screaming
(Source: blackmen)
Colored RaM Commission for @charlie-ships-wincest
First I apologize for finishing this late DX I was picky with what background I thought would be okay for this commission. I hope you like it!!! > A < )/
Thank you for commissioning the Royal AU of Rick and Morty X3 I really love drawing them again <3 <3 <3
All these balls and you still ain’t got a pair😤 / insta @misjudges
Don’t know if I like her or the caption better
Literally the cutest picture with the sassiest caption



